Free At Last

As a child I was full of fear, anxiety and a feeling of being one out. How many times have I heard this scenario expressed at an AA meeting.

These feelings persisted into my teenage years and I covered them up with bluster and bravado and of course lots of booze & dope.

I knew I was in big trouble at the age of 19 and my twenties were spent in desperation – looking for a way out of this emotional and mental torture.

Here are some of the mental and emotional quirks that bedevilled me:

  • Constant underlying fear and anxiety
  • Feelings of not being good enough (Inferiority)
  • Feelings of being better than (Superiority)
  • Feelings of being Inferior & Superior at the same time
  • Blaming others for the way I felt (parents, siblings-the Government, friends, work mates, etc)
  • “MOREISM” – Always wanting more – (love, food, sex, material possessions)
  • The feeling that no-one loved me enough to make me feel loved
  • Arrogance – refusal to accept help from well meaning people– “what would they know!”
  • Feeling that I was different from everybody else in the world….if only they’d understand me
  • RESENTMENT…blaming everyone else…RE-FEELING the hurt other people had caused me
  • Refusal to admit I was wrong…not owning my part in anything – IT WASN’T ME THAT WAS THE PROBLEM

“Drinking Alcohol does not cause ALCOHOLISM….otherwise everyone who drank would become an Alcoholic. It doesn’t matter how much you drink ….it’s what it does to you.”

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